You Know You're Old When....

You know you're old when...

*People talking on their cellphones in a book store make you feel homicidal.

*People outside the store who crank up the volume on their cellphone so their friends (and everyone within a fifty foot radius) can hear what's being said make your brain smoke.

*You find yourself wondering why nobody has any manners.

*You hear a girl say to her boyfriend, "...and I was, like, AWESOME! And she was, like, TOTALLY!" and you think that perhaps our species has outlasted its usefulness.

*You almost weep with gratitude when a little girl says, "Excuse me", when she bumps into you.

*You watch people eating burgers and fries at the president's favorite burger chain and you are reminded of nothing so much as cows chewing cud in a field, which makes you depressed on many levels.

*Between the grease on the bag of fries, the sheer weight of the calorie count of the meal and the knowledge that the beef came from factory farms which are not only inhumane but incredibly filthy and disease ridden, you suddenly see the scene as everyone, including yourself, chewing poison and dropping dead. And seeing the joyless expressions on the faces around you, it doesn't seem like such a tragedy.

You know you're old when...

*You can remember when going shopping was a big event that happened twice a year: right before school began and right before Christmas. And it was fun.

*You can remember driving an hour to go shopping at the first indoor mall in your area.

*You remember when your pharmacist owned his own business.

*You remember doctors making house calls.

*You are surprised when a box of cookies costs five dollars.

*You are disappointed that the cars of the future you dreamed of actually all ended up looking like rounded-off boxes.

You know you're old when...

*You're saddened by the concept of 'hookups'.

*You realize you don't know most current musical artists and you used to know every single one and all the words to their songs. Worse yet, when you hear most popular music, you don't want to know it.

*The parallels between the Roman Empire and modern society strike you as just a little ominous.

*You find yourself mistrusting the motives of anyone with power.

*You think maybe you're in the wrong country, then realize you're probably just in the wrong century.

Man. My guy is right. I shouldn't be allowed beyond the mailbox anymore.

Look at What I Did!

There are many reasons why I love my guy. One of them is that he doesn't take himself too seriously. This morning he'd barely stumbled out of bed but he couldn't wait for me to hear something he'd written in the wee hours of the morning.

Then he started laughing.

"It's a lot like when you're potty training a kid, isn't it? 'Look at what I made!' It's the basis of all of this, isn't it?"

And he's got a point. I think about all the creative people I know who are just dying to have you read their latest poem, hear their latest song, read their new novel. They're the kids who are just so damned proud of what they created all by themselves.

Then there are the ones like me - the ones who make stuff but aren't sure they really want anyone to know about it. We do things like this - blog in obscurity. God forbid we should stand on a stage and read what we've done. We could do it, but I don't think we'd be looking for that invitation.

Oh my, Sigmund, what would you make of this?

Daydreamers, Please Wake Up

My daughter introduced me to a terrific singer who also struck me as exactly the kind of artist I like; she believes music can change the world. She actually says something in her lyrics.

There's plenty of theatricality. She's got her gimmick. But she's got talent.

For those of you of a certain age, she's a cross between Shirley Bassey, Grace Jones and David Bowie. You know what I mean. Listen to "Sincerely Jane" by Janelle Monae:

Janelle Monae MySpace

The Most Entertaining Literary Biography Ever, Maybe

This book completely puzzled me for about three pages. Why was a book about DH Lawrence full of the author's rambling neuroses about making a decision? Do I care where he's going to live? Could I possibly spend an entire book with a man so completely self-involved and, frankly, strange?

I do and I can.

Dyer's being credited with a new form of literary biography. It takes a while to get into it, to see what he's up to. But now having gotten halfway through (I only get to read for fun late at night) I can say that I am being thoroughly entertained and probably understand DH Lawrence better than I ever could have with a traditional biography.

Dyer's indecisiveness, his inability to buckle down and get on with a project he says he wants to do, his clear unsuitability for life in what we think of as the real world, is exactly the voice needed to help the reader understand Lawrence, who was apparently a kindred spirit.

He's infuriating, he's hilarious, he's an immature brat and he's not ashamed to show himself as he is.

Well written, interesting, candy for people who long to write, long to travel, long to throw off their nine to five shackles and live dangerously, this is a great read. And it's just plain good.

I'm reading "But Beautiful" next.

Want to Figure It Out? Here's a Good Place to Begin.

Thanks to my show, I get a lot of advance copies of books for review. This one has me glued to my seat.

Hoodwinked: It's by a former self-described "Economic Hit Man" who had an epiphany and now talks about how he and others helped create the current financial meltdown.

It's a fascinating education in basic economics, contrasting Keynesian economics, which were the principles of American business pre-Reagan, versus the profit-driven, deregulation-happy economics of Milton Friedman which Reagan and his successors have espoused.

Bottom line, he describes a global economy ruled by major corporations. It's an entirely different take on what's happened in the Middle East than what you'll hear from the media or our politicians. And it rings true.

I'm still reading, looking forward to his ideas for reform but I'm betting it's got something to do with John Maynard Keynes.

Highly recommended.

If You Thought This Year Was Bad In NY - Wait for 2011.

The 2010 budgets aren't official yet in most counties across New York, but it is not too soon to talk about 2011. In fact, the county leaders I'm talking to say it's essential that we start talking about it now.

Counties in New York have mostly managed to avoid large tax increases by cutting staff, cutting corners where they can, raiding fund balances (those rainy day accounts they all try to maintain) and raising taxes as little as possible.

All the padding will be gone in 2011. The federal stimulus dollars will be gone. Fund balances will be smaller. Costs probably won't go down and revenues are unlikely to increase. In fact, people and businesses are leaving New York, not arriving. That means even if expenses stayed exactly the same, a smaller pool of taxpayers will be paying them.

Officials in several counties say Albany has to wake up and wake up now. 2011 will be, according to the New York Public Interest Research Group, "disastrous".

Despite lip service to cost cutting and consolidation, state government spending hasn't been really cut and has, in fact, increased. The state continues to pass on its costs to local and county governments - those are the same people who pay the state taxes, too...so any savings on the state level are just smoke and mirrors.

The heartening thing is that if taxpayers start talking now, they have the opportunity to make huge changes. Every state office is up for grabs in 2010. Remind your representatives of that fact and you're likely to get their attention; particularly if you organize a series of phone calls, emails or letters.

New York government has been a mess for years and New Yorkers put up with it. If New Yorkers are so spunky, so outspoken, why aren't they screaming yet? Better yet, why aren't they supporting viable alternatives to the 'business as usual' Democrats and Republicans?

Run for office and bring your pencil - there are a lot of budget items to be reconsidered.

We Are The Working Poor

A New York woman who worked three jobs to pay for her kids' education was found dead on the job - where she'd been sleeping.

48 year old Anna May Harting of Wappingers Falls had been warned before about sleeping in the closet at her janitorial office at SUNY Purchase. But a friend said he'd helped her bring a mattress to the office because she said the long commute and the cost of gas made it worth the risk. Harting had been supervising the custodial staff at the Performing Arts Center for 13 years, and a housemate said she was working extra jobs to pay for her daughter's college and to support her son. Her children lived about an hour away.

Friends said she'd sounded sick when they'd last spoken with her. Her daughter said her mother had been recovering from bronchitis, but was getting better.

The Westchester County Medical Examiners office said the death was not suspicious.

Bringing a mattress to your job so you can sleep in the closet. What else are people doing to try to make ends meet?