Friday, June 19, 2009

Another Year on the Ball

It's my birthday. It's my daughter's birthday, too, which I think is very cool. Not sure if she agrees or just placates me to be a good sport.

It's been another roller coaster year - trips to the ER, recoveries, symptoms of work burnout, awards. I've been here more than half a century now. I still don't have it figured out. But I have noticed one thing - changes, problems, miracles; they all come in groups.

If life is suddenly unbearable, you can be sure that whatever's bothering you is about to be complicated by even more stuff that makes you wonder why you were complaining before.

If you're in flux, just wait. That flux will morph into chaos in a blink and what was a small knot in your life will become a major tangle.

But the universe is even-handed. If something wonderful happens, be prepared for a wave of unbelievable and mind-blowing companion events.

What's that all about, anyway? Is it an example of quantum accumulating and drawing even more similar energy? If you're religious, is it your deity either answering your prayers in abundance or testing your faith? Is it coincidence? That last seems least likely to me. I'm buying the first.

That quantum stuff is tricky - whatever you put energy into, whatever you concentrate on, is what you get. No value, no judgement. You put it out there, the universe makes sure you get it. So when life has you down and you're lying on the floor, just waiting for the anvil to drop from the sky, the universe will oblige. And knowing that doesn't make it any easier to stop expecting that anvil.

When blessings rain down and you're dizzy with gratitude, you're wide open to receive even more. Anything is possible.

But that quantum stuff puts it all directly in our control. We create our reality. I have to admit that I'm sometimes not pleased with what I create.

So I guess I have to figure out how to let go of the value judgements, be a little more Buddhist about it - it just is. It's not good, it's not bad, it'll just IS right now.

I'm dealing with a little of the good and a little of the bad at the moment, probably a good balanced place from which to consider.

Happy birthday to me - another year to work on it.

1 comment:

pinkpackrat said...

Happy Birthday Susan-- to you and your daughter. Like your birthday rumination very much and am into the quantum thing myself-- but past trying to figure it all out ;-)