Sunday, June 13, 2010

Peace of Mind

Something's clicked. I don't promise it'll hang around, but it's great for now.
Everything's okay with me.

That's a huge statement coming from an award-winning worrier. If worrying was an Olympic event, I'd have medaled every year since I was a kid.

So what's changed? Damned if I know. But suddenly I've just clicked into "chill" mode and everything that's swirling around me seems like no big deal - all just part of being alive and all small stuff in the big picture.

Money? It'll work out. The future? Who can say? It's okay now. My kids? They've got their worries and their concerns and I'm doing what I can to help, but they'll find their way. Selling the house? It'll work out. Moving into a different place that we like as well or better? We'll figure it out. All my aging relatives and their increasingly scary ailments? It's part of life. We'll be okay. My own future? I've done what I can to make it what I'd like and I'll continue to, the rest is kinda out of my hands.

I have a birthday coming up. The big Five Three. And maybe this is the Universe's gift to me - a break in my constant what-iffing, furrowed browing and restless nights. If that's the case, that's a great present. Thank you very much.

My guy, a stellar human being, is throwing a birthday party for me. I haven't had one in a gazillion years. I think this is going to be a terrific birthday. And I'm going to hang on to this serenity with a relaxed grip and enjoy every second of it.

I deserve it. We all do. So maybe for my birthday I get to wish that for you, too.



The Bug said...

Happy birthday! I'm sure it will be a fabulous celebration. I'll accept your gift of peace, for sure!

Anonymous said...

There is nothing better than peace of mind with a fabbarooney birthday party to look forward to ;0)

Reya Mellicker said...

THanks for the song. It really helped. I've been chill and now I'm suddenly on the ground, gasping for air. But you're right, everything will be fine.

Like you, I am a Mighty Worrier.

pinkpackrat said...

One of the often under-rated perks of aging is the peace of mind you describe so well--thanks for sharing both your thoughts and the music and happy 53. It just gets better and better:-)