Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Obama Variety Show

I can't help it - I just keep wondering what the Obama campaign has scheduled for that half hour of programming they bought.
We're told it won't be a speech. Saturday Night Live (huzzah! Relevant again after all these years!) did some great song and dance routines culminating in "Solid Like Barack." Cute.
So let's give this some thought. What could Obama, Biden and the people who love them do?
Well, I just saw a terrific pro-Obama piece of video from director Ron Howard.


That could certainly be included. And then there's that oldie but goodie, Will I Am's pro-Obama music video:


But I'd love to see somebody do a number from "Hair"...there are so many to choose from.
But too many people wouldn't understand it. Cause if there's one thing this country lacks, it's a sense of humor about itself.

I got this email this morning and enjoyed it thoroughly.

Dear Red States:

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own
country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.
In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii,
New Mexico, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan,
Illinois and all the Northeast (and it looks like Colorado, too). We
believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to
the people of our country of "Nuevo California."

To sum it up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the
slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get
the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft.
You get WorldCom. We get Harvard and Princeton. You get Ole' Miss. We
get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get
Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to pay the red
states fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than
the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
bunch of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be
pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens
back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your
evangelicals. They're apparently more patriotic, as well as more
willing to send their children to kill and be killed on Bush's and his
corporate crony's behalves. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope
that the WMD's turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources
on Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of
80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the
pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95
percent of America's quality wines, 90 percent of all cheese, 90
percent of the high tech industry, most of U.S. low-sulfur coal, all
living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy League and Seven
Sister schools, plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. Not to mention a
whole bunch of brilliant artists and cultural "mavericks." With the
Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent
of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92
percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes,
90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists,
virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones
University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood
and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe
Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is
sacred (until a child is born, of course, then it doesn't much
matter) unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun
laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that
Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards
believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that
dirt weed they grow in Mexico.

Good luck,
Blue States

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