Another Year on the Ball

It's my birthday. It's my daughter's birthday, too, which I think is very cool. Not sure if she agrees or just placates me to be a good sport.

It's been another roller coaster year - trips to the ER, recoveries, symptoms of work burnout, awards. I've been here more than half a century now. I still don't have it figured out. But I have noticed one thing - changes, problems, miracles; they all come in groups.

If life is suddenly unbearable, you can be sure that whatever's bothering you is about to be complicated by even more stuff that makes you wonder why you were complaining before.

If you're in flux, just wait. That flux will morph into chaos in a blink and what was a small knot in your life will become a major tangle.

But the universe is even-handed. If something wonderful happens, be prepared for a wave of unbelievable and mind-blowing companion events.

What's that all about, anyway? Is it an example of quantum physics...energy accumulating and drawing even more similar energy? If you're religious, is it your deity either answering your prayers in abundance or testing your faith? Is it coincidence? That last seems least likely to me. I'm buying the first.

That quantum stuff is tricky - whatever you put energy into, whatever you concentrate on, is what you get. No value, no judgement. You put it out there, the universe makes sure you get it. So when life has you down and you're lying on the floor, just waiting for the anvil to drop from the sky, the universe will oblige. And knowing that doesn't make it any easier to stop expecting that anvil.

When blessings rain down and you're dizzy with gratitude, you're wide open to receive even more. Anything is possible.

But that quantum stuff puts it all directly in our control. We create our reality. I have to admit that I'm sometimes not pleased with what I create.

So I guess I have to figure out how to let go of the value judgements, be a little more Buddhist about it - it just is. It's not good, it's not bad, it'll change...it just IS right now.

I'm dealing with a little of the good and a little of the bad at the moment, probably a good balanced place from which to consider.

Happy birthday to me - another year to work on it.

Quantum Physics and Vegan Cookbooks

I almost forgot ... I'm supposed to be having fun!

It all came back to me today. In my compulsive need to be ahead of schedule, the current understaffed nature of The Station is making me feel the need to get my work done hours ahead of time. Two stories a day used to be a full day's work. Lately I'm getting those done by halfway through the day, skipping lunch and continuing to work on The Show.

I stand up at the end of the day, wonder at my tense shoulders and aching back and drag myself home. I'm a ton of fun, let me tell you.

But that shifted today. I did my usual overdrive morning, got two stories put together hours before they were needed, then started surfing the Internet. It wasn't casual surfing; I was looking for new ideas for The Show. But today I looked at what I was curious about...not whatever idea seemed feasible and easy to find guests for.

I started with cookbooks. I have been trying to drop animal products from my diet with limited success for months now. And HSO's various aches, ailments and general discomforts make it clear he's due for a dietary upgrade as well. So I looked for a vegan cookbook that looked not only fun, but tasty and within the cooking abilities of a regular kitchen shlump (that would be me). I found Vegan With a Vengeance. It's called post-punk cooking and I loved it on sight.
So I wrote to the author. And wouldn't you know it - she's going to be in my very own neighborhood within a month or two so I can talk to her in person. Yippee!

I moved on to quantum physics. I'm a closet nerd - or maybe the closet isn't as tightly shut as I think. I've read Chaos. I've waded through The Dancing Wu-Li Masters. I've read Ramtha and Seth, navigated The Tao of Physics : I've seen Mindwalk and What the Bleep Do We Know? I know just enough to know I don't know anything. I want to find someone who does.

I discovered that the guy who became rich with the invention of the Blackberry used a good chunk of his profits to establish an institute in Canada to study quantum physics. Oh this is fun. I checked them out and there are a few women there...I faxed them to see if they'd talk to me. The institute doesn't have an email contact. Interesting, no?

My daughter dropped in, we went out and had a bite to eat (I had seitan, if you're checking
on me) and I realized I was having the best day at work I've had in ages.

Time to relax, I think. It's all in how I approach it...and I know that. I just have to remember not to forget.