The Craziest Good Idea I've Ever Heard

TRENDS RESEARCH INSTITUTE SUPPORTS MODIFIED BAILOUT PLAN RHINEBECK NY 24 September 2008 -- The $700 billion bailout plan now before Congress could re-invigorate the economy, asserts Gerald Celente, Director of TheTrends Research Institute. But he warned that success will require certain revisions. The Trends Research Institute has thoroughly analyzed the exhaustive 3 1/2 page document presented to Congress for approval. "We read every word of it!" said Celente. "While we don't agree with bailouts in general, if Congress decides to spend $700 billion of taxpayer money, it must be done efficiently. The revisions we are suggesting, though minor, are crucial to implementing the plan successfully," Celente said. "The bailout plan being debated before Congress, 'The Troubled Asset Relief Program' (TARP) is fraught with uncertainties and unanswerable questions," said Celente. "On the other hand, The Trends Research Institute's revised plan is guaranteed to stimulate economic growth, reduce unemployment, lower taxes, eliminate consumer debt and balance the budget," Celente predicts. Under TARP, US Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson is granted sole authority to dispense $700 billion as he sees fit. Paulson said the money would be used to mainly cover losses incurred by failing financial firms, brokerages, investment banks, leveraged buyout firms, insurance agencies, and any other financial entity deemed "too big to fail." Under the alternative Trends Research Institute Program (TRIP), $700 billion would not be dispensed at the sole discretion of the Economic Czar. Rather, under TRIP the $700 billion would be distributed equally among the 200,000,000 taxpayers who put the money up. "TRIP is not a bailout plan, it's a stimulus package," said Celente. "Unlike TARP, which is doomed to fail, our plan provides immediate relief. With TARP all the money goes to a handful of failing institutions with the hope that some trickles down to the working public. "With TRIP, each taxpayer will directly receive a $3.5 million stimulus check. This will instantly generate economic growth, end the housing crisis, reduce unemployment, eliminate consumer debt and balance the budget. "There is no time to debate TRIP," warned Celente. "Immediate action must be taken. Inaction or delay risks an economic Armageddon. While Congress is wrangling over how much to pay overpaid CEO's under TARP, TRIP could be instantly written into law, solving the economic woes of our nation." Trendpost: Once you receive your TRIP check, try to refrain from buying more than one Ferrari. Invest wisely. Consider putting your money in a Trends Research Investment Plan (TRIP 2). While not yet government sanctioned, we expect swift approval once TRIP becomes law. "If Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley can become banks overnight by government decree, why not us?" asked Celente. Call to Action: If you want your fair share of the $700 billion, call your Congressman and Senators. Tell them you want TRIP not TARP. Now that you're excited (I sure was!) I must add the post script. This notice was followed by a disclaimer. Apparently it was meant to be satirical...and worse yet, the actual number each taxpayer would get if the 700 billion was divvied up was 35 hundred...not 3.5 million. I don't think 3500 will do much to help most people faced with no job or the loss of their homes.